7 weeks 2 days... Miscarriage

Woke up this morning to some light spotting. Cramps ensued shortly thereafter. Saw my family doc who indicated that spotting + cramping + no symptoms isn't a good sign. 

I was lucky and was able to get an appointment for an ultra sound later this afternoon so at least I'll know one way or the other. I'm really hoping the tech will tell me on the spot so I don't have to wait until my doctor gets the formal report sometime tomorrow or next week. I really just want to know, so I can reset my thoughts and look forward. 

I'd like to say that I'm trying to be optimistic, but all along I have been saying I don't feel pregnant... So I'm hoping for the best but I'm not going to hold my breath. 

I'm definitely sad. Very sad. For many reasons... Mostly just that the dream is being crushed which I know is kind of silly. But I was set on having my kids 2 years apart. Now they could be much more than that. My BFF tried to get pregnant at the same time so we could be on mat leave together, she's 10 days ahead of me, and is supposed to be having her dating ultra sound today... So she'll (hopefully!) be getting good news while I'm likely getting sad news. It will be hard to watch her pregnancy progress and think of what was. 

How do I tell my Mom that I lost the pregnancy? She's going to be so sad, mostly sad for me to have to go through it, and I don't want to make her upset. 

The good news I guess is that we've been incredibly lucky to conceive quickly when we've tried. My doctor said to wait for one cycle then go ahead and try again. In the best case scenario I guess I could get pregnant again sometime in August.

My head is full of thoughts but I'm just rambling, happy to have an outlet until I know for sure and can talk to my family. I don't want to sound the alarm in the off chance that it's unnecessary. I'll check in again later to confirm, one way or the other...