Meet the midwife

After our awesome appointment with the doctor I wasn't too concerned about the midwife, I figured it would be what it would be and I was totally satisfied going with the doctor. We met with our midwife on July 23. Our appointment was at 9:30, we arrived around 9:20 and were with the midwife, beginning our discussion, right on time at 9:30. The place was filled with women working away but they were all super friendly and helpful. The waiting room was filled with comfy couches, felt more like waiting in someone's living room as opposed to a clinical doctor's waiting room. It also made me feel good that I wasn't sitting in a room with sick people.

The appointment itself ended up being more of an info session - really more about them than about us. Their objective is to educate on the role of the midwife so that we can make a decision whether or not to go ahead with them. The room was comfortable too, the 3 of us could chat comfortably and there was a twin bed at one end. She explained that I would actually be assigned to two midwives and would have appointments with both throughout my pregnancy so I could get to know them both, although one would be primary and the other would be secondary. As they're a teaching clinic, we may also be assigned a midwife student. The midwifes are on call 24/7, she gave me everyone's pager #s and all of the details to contact them in case of an emergency and/or in case of questions. They take every other weekend off call, for 3 days, but either my primary or secondary midwife would always be available. When I go into labour, my primary would be with us the entire time, she will come to our house before the hospital so I can labour at home for as long as I'm comfortable doing that before we move to the hospital. If we have a student, she would also be around during labour and would help with paperwork at the hospital and anything else we need. When it comes time to deliver, my secondary midwife would be called in to actually deliver the baby while my primary midwife would be doing whatever she can to help me through the process. After the baby is born, the midwife will come to our house on days 1, 3 and 5 to check me and the baby and they would continue our care until the baby is 6 weeks old, although after the first few visits I will probably take the baby to their office.

We talked a lot about informed decisions. My BFF had a baby boy last week (Yay!! I can't wait to visit him tomorrow!!) and said the epidural was necessary because the pain is unbearable. So I was worried the midwife would be strongly pro-natural/no intervention birth, but she was totally open... she said she would of course encourage me to go as long as I can before giving in to the epidural because it can sometimes slow down progress and it has its own set of side effects, but also that some women can do it without and it's worth trying BUT that if I said I wanted an epidural she would make sure I got one. She said that we will talk about coping mechanisms and all the risks/rewards of certain interventions during the pregnancy so that she can educate us enough that we can make well-informed decisions, since at the end of the day, I'm the mother and it's my body and my experience.

She was trying to calculate my estimated due date based on my LMP date. I told her I knew my ovulation date so of course she asked if we had problems conceiving to which I responded no, I'm just A-type personality and I was lucky, got pregnant the first month I charted! She said, "we can talk more about that later, you're not going to be able to plan your birth experience, and people who go with the flow tend to fare much better than the hardcore A-types". LOL, she knows me so well already.

To calm DH's concerns about the lack of doctor presence, she gave us a handout from the college of midwifes that governs the profession that clearly specifies each situation where a midwife is required to consult with another health professional. Our midwife said that she has a great relationship with the OBs at our hospital and can call them up at anytime, and since it's a category 2 hospital, there is an OB in the hospital at all times (not just on call at home sleeping!).

At the end, she offered to try to find the heartbeat with her doppler, but said because I'm so tall with such a long torso, and still so early (barely 10 weeks) that she may not be able to hear anything and would only do it if I wouldn't freak out. DH's eyes got to be about the size of plates and had such a huge grin on his face so we went for it.... and heard nothing. Kind of disappointing but I'm not freaking out. I have read that you won't always hear it with the doppler that early particularly if you have a long torso because the baby is hidden deep in your pelvis. So now I have to wait 'til August 13!!

After the appointment, I was shocked to hear that DH's gut told him that we should go with the midwife. I'm really worried about him passing out (he's a VERY empathetic person, and passed out once when he saw his sister after she had her wisdom teeth taken out, no joke!) and not being at all helpful to me. He says he's going to "man up" but I don't want to have to be worried about him during labour/delivery and I also don't want to be left hanging all alone during that time. He agreed that the extra support we would receive from a midwife would be huge for us... the secondary midwife made us feel good that there would be at least one person we knew at the delivery of our baby... the extra care after delivery is also a bonus... not to mention the comfy waiting room that we didn't even have to wait in for long! Finally, I feel like it's a little community there. They offer all kinds of parenting classes at their clinic and even help you with breastfeeding after the baby comes which seems invaluable. So, shock of all shocks, we decided to go with the midwife!!

Now I feel guilty about breaking up with my doctor who I did really like! But definitely feel great about going the midwife route!