I'd rather talk about it at this stage than actually do it. I'll admit, I was really nervous about doing the deed knowing I'm now pregnant. I know it's okay to do it, as long as you're not a high risk pregnancy and as long as you aren't getting spotting, etc. Since my doctor did absolutely no diagnostics on me when I went to see her, how would I know if I'm high risk? I mean, I'm pretty sure I'm not, but if I was, I wouldn't know. I haven't had any spotting either...
Regardless, sex is the absolute furthest thing from my mind these days. I would say that I had a healthy sex drive before my BFP and even before TTC but now it has dwindled to zero. I think it's a combination of hesitation about the risks and just not being interesting in it. Am I alone here or is anyone else feeling this way? I'm still really attracted to my husband and I feel very close to him, pobably now more than ever, but I have no desire to be intimate in that way. My poor hubby!!
Needless to say... we did it anyway. It ended up being good but I had a hard time getting out of my own head in the beginning. I hope it gets better as time wears on.
Any tips of tricks for getting past this?! I read that in the second trimester the desire returns.... I'm hoping it doesn't take that long!
I am in the same boat as you! We haven't had sex since we found out we were pregnant! I used to have no problems getting down with the deed, but now, I just can't get there. I am always exhausted, or when he's tired I have insomnia. I hope it gets better! I told him tonight actually that I didn't think we were going to have sex for the next 40ish weeks and he said, and I quote "Well, I already did my job, so I guess there's no "need" to have sex anymore" <---Haha. What a man! Maybe one day I'll get that sex drive back!
ReplyDeleteI have done the fertility challenge circles for a while and what I can tell you is that if there is going to be a problem with sex, you know straight away. The spotting starts, becomes bleeding and doesn't stop. Spotting itself isn't uncommon with sex in pregnancy because everything becomes quite swollen and vascularised. Blood vessels rupture. Looks scary but often harmless. The reality is though, if sex results in a miscarriage, it has only accelerated something that would have happened of its own accord with the exception of a few conditions. Short of the long...you are fine!
ReplyDeleteHaving said all that, I'm far to paranoid to entertain the idea before 12 weeks. We didn't do it with DS until the second trimester and we won't again this time. Last pregnancy we probably only did it a handful of times all up and most of those were in an effort to induce labour. LOL (It didn't work).
Desire wise, last pregnancy I was horny as a raging bull during my first trimester and would get noctural orgasms! After that it I just didn't feel the desire to initiate.
This time around I'm not so sure yet. Things have been far too crazy for me to even contemplate sex. That DH is away for work now. -shrugs-
Give yourself time and patience. If it isn't going to make you feel good, don't do it. A lot of couples just don't do it during pregnancy. Not point worrying about. Give him a bit of head or whatever floats his boat so he feels all loved and take the pressure off yourself. If he's a good bloke he won't push it and will be happy just to get get "serviced".