Last night

As we were going to be last night hubs was cozying up to me…

Me: “Are you feeling frisky again?”
DH: “I’m TRYING to make a baby! Is it a green day?” (We call fertile days green days because of how fertility friend outlines those days in green)
Me: “Nope, the time has come and gone”
DH: “When? How do you KNOW that?”
Me: “Sunday or Monday. I know because my temp spiked. Want to see?”
DH: “We had sex both of those days, yes!! Did you write that down, too?”

Love my hubby. I didn’t tell him at all this cycle when my fertile time was because I thought it would be more fun if we were doing it just because we wanted to. Anyway, I explained the chart to him, he thinks it is pretty neat. I don’t think he was all that frisky after all because after we looked at my chart he fell asleep instantly. Men! Have you shared your chart with your BD partner?

My temps are still up there today. FF changed my O day to Monday now and moved my coverline up above my temp on Sunday. I have decided that I won’t test this cycle until 18 DPO if my temps are still high. The only reason I would test earlier is if I am getting obvious PG symptoms. We’ll see how disciplined I can be…

Dotted red lines

Quick update because I was admiring my chart and noticed that my previously solid red lines are now dotted red lines for O. She says that my other fertility indicators cause some confusion about my O day. I must not have done a good enough job recording CM and CP. It’s sort of annoying me because I want it to start showing DPO. Maybe she’s just confused about the exact date because I am pretty sure it must have happened either Day 14 or Day 15 because the thermal shift is pretty obvious, as long as my temps continue to be high. CP and CM are definitely going back to non-fertile characteristics. Firm CP and sticky CM. I guess I'll have to wait and see if my temps stay high. Once again, waiting seems to be the name of the game!

I’ll be interested to see how long my luteal phase is, although am definitely hoping for BFP and that I therefore wouldn’t find out this cycle. 

TTC Cycle #2 – 1 DPO?

If you look at my chart today, it looks like I may have ovulated yesterday. Unfortunately, I’m not 100% comfortable that my temping today was accurate because I got out of bed to go to the washroom around 4am and then got up at 6:30am and my sleep in between wasn’t solid. And it was HOT last night. Taking into account humidity, it was nearly 40 degrees (Celsius) in Toronto yesterday and was around 27 degrees in the house overnight which is much warmer than we usually keep it but I expected it to cool down so I just opened the windows instead of putting on the air conditioning. I was very warm during the night. I wonder how environmental temperature affects basal body temperature. It is cooling down a bit today, I guess I’ll have to be patient and wait until tomorrow to see if my temp stays high. Based on CM and CP, it would make sense that O happened yesterday, but as a beginner I’m not confident with my assessments of those secondary fertility indicators. It does seem that CM is starting to dry up a bit, since yesterday… it was still a little bit like EW but more sticky than the really fertile stuff. If O did happen yesterday, we covered all our bases with BD which is good news. I didn’t even try to keep hubby on a schedule this cycle, he has just been really frisky lol. He said he’s been sleeping much better since we started working on baby making so maybe that’s part of it? Lol

I can’t believe I am back at the TWW again. It’s definitely good news but I felt a bit surprised this morning when I processed that fact. Still feeling much calmer than I did last cycle which is an incredible relief. It may be partly because I’m so busy at work. But ask me again tomorrow and it may be a different story! :)

Lovely weekend and feeling good

I am just popping in for a quick update! We had a beautiful weekend here in Toronto and even got up to the cottage for a day. I may have drank half of hubby's beer while we were there. I had been pretty religious about avoiding alcohol but I figure half a glass here or there while we are TTC shouldn't hurt. It was so good for the soul to be out of the city even though it was for just one day.

I'm on CD14 and have been having EWCM for the last 2 days. At least I am pretty sure it is CM and not semen. I've been trying to record my CP as well but it's kind of a difficult thing to do in the first month because I don't have a point of reference yet, so it's hard to say whether it's high or open or medium and medium. So I'm recording my best guess for this month. What I do know is that it is definitely moving up, getting softer and feeling more open than it was at the beginning of my cycle.

Overall I am feeling strangely calm and optimistic about this cycle. I think I felt a lot of pressure to conceive the first month just because it seemed everyone else was doing it (haha I know that sounds sort of ridiculous but looking back on it now I did feel that way). Now that it obviously didn't happen, I am somewhat more comfortable with just doing what we can and temping and hoping for the best.

Busted

So sorry for falling off the map this past week. I have been a busy girl and have been using any energy leftover at the end of the day to work on my resume and talking to some of my mentors about that internal position I mentioned. Which I decided last night, not to apply for. It’s too long to write about on here, but in the end, I think I’m going to leave the firm altogether and it doesn’t really fit into my loosely-defined career goals. As exhausting as it can be to be thinking about a career change, it’s been a good reprieve from thinking about TTC every waking moment. But if you have been checking out my chart you will see that I was still alive and still temping! I am really enjoying it, I get a strange satisfaction from looking at my chart, like I’ve done something really good even though I haven’t really done much at all. Can you relate? You will notice that I discarded one of my temps…While I was away on the weekend I got up to go the bathroom probably about an hour before I actually got up, not thinking about what time it was or anything and then my temp was high and I didn’t think it was representative so I discarded it.

Back to the title of this post! As you know my family doesn’t know we are TTC and I was concerned that my beeping thermometer every morning (10 beeps!) would tip them off that something was going on. Unfortunately I was caught before it was even time to use the thermometer. I was staying in the guest bedroom so as I was going to bed I put the thermometer in the top drawer of the bedside table so that if anyone came into the room they wouldn’t see it lying around. Our dog was in my room with me and my Mom came up to get her and I was complaining that I am starting to get allergies and was quite congested (side bar – I have never had allergies until now, I am 29, why are they arriving now?). So Mom helpfully offered me some allergy pills which were IN THE TOP DRAWER in the bedside table. She opened the drawer and said “Oh, a thermometer. I guess you’re uh… checking yourself. Well, I knew it was in the plans eventually”. I had no words. All I could think of was “busted”! haha. Then she walked out. My mom is one of my best friends now that I’m older and I was surprised she dropped it so quickly. Although she did make a few other comments when I was talking about eating healthy such “oh yes, it’s a good idea to get your body healthy, just smart, really” that I think (hope) nobody else caught on to!

Happy Friday!

Thoughts on work

Outside of TTC, I have a lot going on in my life right now. Sometimes I feel like I can hardly catch up to my own thoughts. I find that when I write them down, it helps me to add context, prioritize and sometimes get some sleep at night. Which I think I need more of, especially for TTC. That said, I am warning you that this isn't directly a TTC post and is more of an internal debate, that is now on paper, to hopefully help me find some clarity - up to you if you want to read or not!

I'm a CA - Chartered Accountant. And I'm a good one. Not to toot my own horn, but I have worked extremely hard to get to where I am. After completing my first degree (Science & Business, majoring in biochemistry, minor in Biology, minor in Economics) I started working for the professional services firm I still work for today but in a marketing capacity. After a couple of years, career progression was moving too slowly for my liking, and with a bit of encouragement from a Partner I was working with, I went back to university to get the accounting credits I needed to qualify for a CA. While working full-time, I completed 16 intense university accounting courses in about a year and a half. Then I transferred to an audit role in the firm, where I currently reside, and wrote the series of 3 gruelling professional exams (and placed in the top 50 in the country on the final, the UFE, of probably over 4,000 writers although the actual # is not disclosed) while working on the practical experience I needed to finally qualify for my CA. I do not like my job. I like the people I work with, but I have a hard time with the demands, the hours and constant stress, not to mention that sometimes I feel like I'm not being used to my full potential... a lot of the time I'm just doing whatever I can to satisfy someone else so that I can just cross something off my ever growing list of to-do's. The daily choice is to either work really long day + weekends and do a good job or work your regular 10 hours and do a mediocre job. As a perfectionist, this sucks. As a perfectionist who loves life and her friends and family, running and hanging out at the cottage in the summer, it is devastating. I feel guilty all the time - guilty because I left work "early" (by firm standards) to try to be home to have dinner wtih hubby or guilty because I'm working late and hubby's at home alone... again. I know I need a change. The dilemna though, is to decide what I'm willing to sacrifice. I know I will go back to work after kids, because I enjoy the stimulation and because it is expensive to maintain our lifestyle living in the city. But, I want to be able to make them breakfast in the morning, pick them up after school and coach their school soccer team. I want to be happy when I'm not at work instead of stressed about not working. I also want to be challenged in my job. If I'm not challenged, I'm not productive and then I'm just frustrated. I want to make a difference and keep learning. I have been racking my brains and stalking job boards to see if there are any jobs that fit the above description and no luck - you either get good balance and risk being bored or are working too much.

An internal position came up today. It is more of a research position - where I would provide tools to audit teams related to technical accounting issues. This sounds good to me. Without clients (well, paying, external clients like big public companies) the pressures would be significantly reduced and hours more reasonable. But, I am afraid. I don't think I will be allowed to transfer because they have "groomed" me for certain jobs. And, by applying, they will all know I am done with audit. So, if I don't get it, my life will be made difficult by those I work with, as they will not be pleased. I just don't know what to do and I know I'm the only one who can make the decision. I'm also afraid of disappointing people... and myself. This would be considered an "easy" job. If I go, I know what people will say - "what a waste of good talent". I have heard it all before. I think I am almost over what other people think, though. Now I need to get over the fact that I worked my a$$ off and now am willing to let it all go. Because, I think that's where I am at. The once career-minded, competitive, go getter, now really just wants to make babies and be an awesome wife and mother.

Thankfully - I have this weekend off and it's a long weekend in Canada! Hubby is going to a bachelor party in the US so my sister and I are going to hang out with my Mom for the weekend - eat at fancy restaurants, have some delicious home cooked meals and spend a day at the spa. I may even drink some wine since AF is here. I can't wait! I am ready for a break from the hustle and bustle of the city and work and house renos.

On that note, I hope everyone has a lovely weekend. Looking forward to coming back refreshed and ready to DTD and hopefully get our BFP. The rest will fall into place.

Temping is hard work

Yes, it's day one of temping and I'm already encountering difficulties! I had a dream that I took my temp and the thermometer literally disintegrated in my mouth and I couldn't return it because it was all in pieces lol. Goes to show how much faith I had after testing it out yesterday. Then I was tossing and turning all night. Woke up at 5:17 and couldn't bring myself to wake up my hubby with the beeping because I wasn't sure just how loud it would be in the stillness of the morning. So, I rolled over hoping to sleep some more with no luck. I finally took my temp at 6:45 but I wouldn't necessarily call it my waking temp since I wasn't just waking up.

In the end, if i wrap my hand around the end of the thermometer really tight, the beeping is not too loud, I think if hubby is sleeping well, it may not wake him up. I'll try harder tomorrow!

I know they say to take the temp at the same time every day. BUT, is it better to actually get your waking temp? For instance, if I usually wake up at 6:40 and then one day I wake up around 5:15 for some reason, should I take my temp then so it's my waking temp (waking from my night of sleep) or is it better to try to go back to sleep and take it at the regular time, 6:40 but risk not actually falling back asleep and therefore it isn't really a waking temp? I should add that as soon as I wake up in the morning, I am thinking about work and deadlines. I can feel my blood pressure rising when I wake up in the morning. So I'm thinking it's probably better in my case to do it right away.  As a point of reference.... my "waking" temp this morning was 36.35. After I got up and showered I took it again just to see, and it was 36.65. Only a .3 degree celsius difference. Does that make sense? I'm guessing my waking temp would probably be lower if done accurately. For all my expert temp-ers out there, please weigh-in!

Success!

One walmart superstore and 4 pharmacies later, I finally found a BBT Thermometer at the Shoppers Drug Mart closest to my house. I am shocked at how hard it was to find. Is it a Canadian thing? It seems like everyone in blogland found theirs easily. Anyway, let me introduce my new thermometer. Me and her are going to get really well acquainted this cycle. Here she is, pretty in pink, the life brand Basal Digital Thermometer, model #5944.

For $19.99 + HST this baby is accurate to 1/100th degree, beeps when ready and displays the last temperature taken. It is also water resistant and automatically shuts off after 9 minutes to conserve batteries.

That's some fancy marketing folks. I tested it out tonight to make sure I know how to use it and have already noticed a few things:

• Not only does it beep when done, it beeps TEN TIMES. TEN. My husband is going to curse me every. single. morning. This is also going to make it difficult to do when I'm sleeping on an air mattress right outside my mother's room when visiting her this weekend since the family doesn't know we're TTC. Oh, but according to the manual, it only does this "sometimes". Other times, the little C will just stop flashing when it's done. How am I supposed to see a C about the size of the tip of a pencil in the dark, on a stick that is right below my nose? Suggestions welcome.
• It displays the last temperature taken but only if you remember to hold the "on" button for 3 seconds when turning it on the next time you use it. If you forget to do this, it is lost forever.
• I took my temp while sitting on the couch 3 times without moving. The temperatures it read were as follows: 36.65 degrees, 36.95 degrees, 36.90 degrees. Hmmmm. User error? I tried to put it in the exact same spot in my mouth, in the "hot" spot, consistent with the diagrams in the user manual.
• Water resistant seems more like a requirement than a "feature" considering where I'm going to put it.

Alright, all jokes aside - I hope in practice it works better than this first impression. I'm excited to finally have it, start using it, charting my temps and sharing them with you.

Confession

I broke down and took an HPT late last night, CD31. Hubby has been asking me daily if I think I am pregnant and yesterday I told him we could take a test to see. We went out and bought one (actually two – First Response) and BFN. Am I really surprised? No. Disappointed? Absolutely. Discouraged? I would like to say no, but I am a bit deflated. More than anything it’s the long cycle that I find frustrating because it makes me feel as though there is something wrong since I was so regular before. Why did I suggest we test? I had what felt like my regular cramps that announce AF’s pending arrival but I had them Friday, Saturday and a bit again yesterday, but still no AF. Usually I get them only the day before she arrives. My bbs are a little tender but truthfully, I never paid much attention to them before so it could be that they always feel this way. And then on Saturday DH opened a can of tuna and it almost blew me away how much it stunk and it usually doesn’t bother me all that much. That and because I didn’t know when I ovulated this month and thus no idea when to expect AF so I thought it couldn’t hurt. The sad thing is that the waiting continues. Lots of waiting in this game! Waiting now until AF arrives – I hope she hurries up!

On a brighter note, we had a wonderful weekend. I really am very fortunate to have such a thoughtful and loving husband. I think he knows the waiting was making me a bit nuts so he made sure we were busy all weekend (kind of funny to think that eventually it was his impatience that resulted in us just testing!). He took me out for a nice dinner Friday night, Saturday we met with friends for dinner and yesterday we tiled our laundry room floor together. It was nice to spend some one on one time with him. I think the one thing that scares me most about having children is that I will have to share him with someone else. So selfish, I know but I can't help it, he's been exclusively mine for over 10 years.

Onwards and upwards! Happy Monday to all my TTC ladies.

****End of day update for my ladies*******************************************************
Just to be upfront with you, I absolutely stalk your blogs and am seriously thinking about you and your journeys almost as much as I'm thinking about mine. So, in the event that you're even remotely as involved in my journey as I am in yours, I thought it would be nice of me to post this update. AF is here and I am happy to see her! It means I can stop waiting and start planning again. Hip hip hooray!  (Kind of wish I had waited one more day and saved myself $10 on the HPT! lol)

CD 32 is now Cycle #2, CD1. Happy to be boarding the roller coaster again.

TWW Update

To date, I have had no signs of pregnancy – no headache, cramps, cravings, aches or pains and I’m not any more hungry, thirsty or emotional than usual. Although I eat at least 3 meals a day plus snacks and drink at least 12 cups of water on a regular day so maybe I wouldn’t get hungry/thirsty if I am always ahead of it. Hard to say! I’m trying to be optimistic without setting the expectation that I must be pregnant because I don’t want to be too disappointed. So far so good. And I have resisted the temptation to POAS because my body hasn't given me any reason to. In fact I have not even bought any HPTs because as soon as I get it in the house it would be game over!

If by chance I ovulated really late, I'm only 6 dpo so it's still early for symptoms. EIther way, I hope that if AF is coming, that she comes soon, so that I can start charting and start doing SOMETHING again. Waiting isn't any fun!

The Plan

I have been going back and forth on whether to go all out and track everything or to just wing it again or to start slowly and focus just on CM for a cycle. After much debate, I’ve decided to go for it and track everything for the next cycle. I think knowledge is power and even if it makes me a bit obsessed, it's the better alternative for me. I will be tracking cervical fluid, cervix position/firmness/openness, other symptoms/specifics and BBT. I’m hoping that I will then at least be able to tell that I am in fact ovulating and around when in my cycle that takes place which will also help me predict when AF is due. I’m also interested in drawing correlations between stress and exercise in my life and my cycles so I am going to do my best to track that too. I was wondering if maybe last cycle I was suddenly de-stressed and that’s why my cycle lasted so long… have you ever heard of this? I know it’s opposite of what all the literature says, but I can’t pinpoint any particular stress that would have delayed ovulation in my last cycle and it was a time of major stress release for me. This is the main argument in my decision to go for it, at least if I had been tracking that last cycle, maybe I would have an idea of what caused what happened to happen. :)

Next steps:

• Start tracking CM and cervix position now – today was my first day. (You can check out my chart even though there’s nothing to see there yet from the new ticker in the top right of my page - Thanks to Stephanie for explaining how to add it! I haven't purchased the VIP version. Is it worthwhile?)
• Get a BBT thermometer – I need someone to tell me what model is good and where to get it, I’m in Canada. I couldn’t find one at Walmart or Shoppers Drug Mart. Or I can always just order it online. I think I want a digital thermometer that beeps when done and has the recall function. Backlight would be a plus but not required

I might wait on buying the thermometer until AF shows up because in the slight chance that she doesn’t, I don’t want to have spent the money needlessly.

Cute & affordable summer clothes for girls TTC

As I mentioned in yesterday's post, I spent some time with my sister this weekend - we went shopping! One of the places we went to was Old Navy. Now, I’ll be honest, I’m not a huge fan of the quality of their clothing… I find it doesn’t do well in the wash and I really can’t buy pants there because I am tall (5’8 ½”)  and they always end up too short. BUT, for a few cute and trendy summer pieces, it is a great place to go for some affordable and comfortable, one-season-only clothes. What I mean by this is that, since it’s so cheap, I don’t feel bad buying a few new pieces each year and only wearing them for one season.

This year is especially tough because despite my urge to go out and buy pretty summer outfits, I am hesitant because if I am blessed and do conceive soon, those new clothes may not fit for long, if at all, by the time the summer weather finally comes. That said, I figured it was safe to pick up a few loose and empire-waisted summer dresses. For $18-30 these are a steal of a deal! The Old Navy near me didn’t have all of the dresses they show on their website, but I ended up with the following:

The Cross Smocked Maxi Dress in black. It's made of jersey so it's super comfortable but since it's black, you can totally dress it up if need be.

The Cross Yoke Dress in Navy. Again really comfortable in jersey.

And finally the Floral Chiffon V-Neck in pink, only shown on the website in blue. It is really cute and I can probably wear it to work if I throw a blazer over it.

I also picked up a pair of linen shorts and a couple of tank tops, all in size that fit but have a bit of room to grow in if need be. I couldn’t find them on the website so no photos, sorry! The tanks were $8 each and the shorts on sale for $15! I also bought a pair of cute Luca Ferri Lockamy wedges from Globo in camel:

I needed a pair of nude flats (almost flats!) to pair with some of my more vibrant summer outfits and all of the navy clothes I seem to be drawn to lately. They look pink above but they really are more of a camel color.

Did you put off clothes shopping while TTC or did you try to find stuff that was roomy enough for a bit of belly?

**These are all my own opinions and observations. This post is not sponsored by the retailers mentioned above.

TTC Cycle #1 Recap

I have been MIA for a couple of days - sorry! I had an awesome weekend filled with friends and family and the sun shining :) Since this is something I do for fun and to hopefully become part of a broader TTC community, I decided that if I miss a few days because I get caught up in life, that's okay with me. I hope that you'll keep reading even if I don't check in every day.

I thought it would be worthwhile for me to post a recap of this cycle so far since I haven't really posted any of the nitty-gritty details. If you follow my blog, you would have read one of my posts from last week Just Relax where I touched on the fact that I was regular since going off birth control until the cycle before we officially started TTC when my cycle jumped from 29 days to 36 days. While my cycle was regular, after the first couple of months I stopped paying attention to the signs of fertility like cervical fluid which I had been tracking previously, so I have no idea when I actually ovulated during the pre-TTC cycle. Further, since I had no idea what was going to happen this cycle, I decided to just take a laissez-faire approach - track nothing, BD constantly and hope for the best. Now that I'm in the TWW I'm thinking that this probably isn't the best approach for me. I would rather have an idea of what is going on with my body and possibly an idea of what to expect. More on that later.

Here's TTC Cycle #1 in a nutshell:
CD1 (April 13) -CD4 - AF
We DTD on CD5 just because we wanted to :)
From CD9- CD22 we DTD 11 times. Yep, I think that's a record. I figure that it's unlikely that my cycle would exceed 36 or 37 days (hopefully?!) so CD 22 is 14 days back from then which is the common luteal period so somewhere in there we should have hit a potentially fertile day.

I considered checking CM, but honestly could not tell whether I was looking at leftover semen or CM and gave up on it early on in the cycle. I haven't paid enough attention to know any of my other signs of fertility so I have absolutely no idea if/when I ovulated this cycle... which means I have no idea when the possible window for implanation might be and even worse, when I could test for PG! Let me tell you ladies, this is not fun. My mind is playing tricks on me already. Today is CD25. Yesterday I had cramps all day - they were sort of a dull ache, not as intense as menstrual cramps but not quite like intestinal cramps, although it is hard to say because I've never concentrated so hard on cramps before in my life... honestly I was loving it thinking maybe there was hope after all. Oh and my boobs - I am constantly squeezing them as if they are a direct line to my uterus. So far nothing yet but I'm sure they will start to be tender soon from all the abuse they are getting. My husband is also pointing things out to me all the time now too. For example, we were eating a treat we have been hooked on lately, and I told him it tasted funny to me. He gave me his most convincing "you must be pregnant if this tastes funny" eyes. There is no escaping it.

Okay, rant over. As a result of the above, I went out and purchased the book Taking Charge of your Fertility (TCOYF). I have read the first 4 chapters and am enjoying it so far. Once I'm done, I'm going to decide on a plan for next month which I will of course share with all of you out there in TTC land. Stay tuned!

50 Random things about me

I took this from babybellykelli. Great for killing some time - Enjoy!

1. Where were you three hours ago?

Work...

2. Who are you in love with?

My most incredible hubby.

3. Have you ever eaten a crayon?

No, yuck!

4. Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

There's a little bit of pink-ish color in a quilt on the couch.

5. When was the last time you went to the mall?

I took my sister there for frozen yogurt last week! To actually shop... Christmas. Work has been busy.

6. Are you wearing socks right now?

Yes otherwise I get popsicle toes.

7. Do you have a car worth over $2000?

Yes, I have to drive a lot because my clients are all over the place.

8. When was the last time you drove out of town?
In February, to a client.

9. Have you been to the movies in the last 5 days?

Nope, but I saw Hunger Games 2 weekends ago.

10. Are you hot?

Never, I'm always cold.

11. What was the last thing you had to drink?
Big glass of milk with dinner.

12. What are you wearing right now?

Pyjamas :)

13. Do you wash your car or let the car wash itself?
No, that's hubby's job. He even washes the rims.

14. Last food you ate?

I made a treat for dinner tonight - perogies with sauteed onions and sour cream. A family favorite!

I 15. Where were you last week at this time?
Pretty much exactly where I am right now.

16. Have you bought any clothing items in the last week?

Nope...

17. When was the last time you ran?

Last month.

18. What was the last sporting event you watched?
Live? Hockey game - leafs!

19. Your favorite animal?

I love dogs for a pet and wish I could have one. They're such great companions.

20. Your dream vacation?

I have to pick just one? The list grows every day... as long as I'm with DH, somewhere warm, then I'm in heaven.

21. Last person’s house you were in?

Our house? Besides our house... my sister's condo.

22. Worst injury you ever had?
I've been pretty lucky... I've really only had two injuries. The most frustrating was probably an overuse injury (IT band) from running that required weeks (months?) of physio to fix.

23. Have you been in love?
Yes, more and more each day.

24. Do you miss anyone right now?
Missing one of my girlfriends - but will see her this weekend!

25. Last play you saw?
We saw Warhorse last month. DH planned a date day for us!

26. What is your secret weapon to lure the opposite sex?

No idea? I'll have to ask my husband this one...

27. What are your plans for tonight?
Killing time. Ignoring the disaster that is my house. Waiting for hubby to get home. Exciting, right?


28. Who is the last person to send you a facebook message or comment?

One of my cousins liked a photo of my grandmother and I at my wedding shower.

29. Next trip you are going to take?
London Olympics and a week in Paris in August :) Go Canada!

30. Ever go to camp?

Yes. As a kid I hated it. The camp I went to was pretty good but they made us clean our dorms and do the dishes and I hated that. One year my sister and I came down with the flu... my parents came to visit and decided that we weren't sick enough to warrant going home. I think sending us to camp was their vacation. In hindsight, I don't blame them. In high school, went to numerous basketball camps.

31. Were you an honor student in school?
Yep!

32. What do you want to know about the future?

If I am going to conceive this month, and if not, when?! Fingers crossed.

33. Are you wearing perfume or cologne?

Of course, every day, unless I am in a rush and forget...

34. Are you due sometime this year for a doctor’s visit?
I always go for an annual physical, so yes.

35. Where is your best friend?

About 1.5 hours drive away.

36. How is your best friend?

Preggers! and super happy :)

37. Do you have a tan?

No. I need to stay out of the sun. I am a total sun bum but am starting to get spots on my face - yuck! No more sun for me.

38. What are you listening to right now?
Watching Property Brothers

39. Do you collect anything?

No... I hate clutter.

40. Who is the biggest gossiper you know?
Probably me and everyone I work with lol.

41. Last time you got stopped by a cop or pulled over?

Never when I was driving (knock on wood!!!).

42. Have you ever drank your soda from a straw?

I don't drink carbonated beverages, unless there is alcohol in them... so none anymore.

43. What does your last text message say?
Last one received? "Still here at grandmas"

44. Do you like hot sauce?

Yummy, yes!!

45. Last time you took a shower?

This morning.

46. Do you need to do laundry?

Yes, but not desperately. There is always laundry to be done.

47. What is your heritage?
I'm a big mix. French, Swedish, Ukrainian, Irish.

48. Are you someone’s best friend?

I think so :)

49. Are you rich?

Haha no. But rich with life and love, family and friends. (sappy, I know)

50. What were you doing at 12 AM last night?
Sleeping!

Starting the TWW... patience.

Patience is not one of my strong points. In fact, I would say it’s been one of my weaknesses for my entire life. It doesn’t matter what the circumstance is – sitting in traffic, waiting for a test result or an upcoming vacation or for my husband who is parked behind me when I need to leave for work in the morning – I am always impatient. I am working on it. I am worried mother nature is going to teach me a lesson in patience with TTC. Knowing this, I am trying to figure out what I can do to keep myself occupied so I don’t end up obsessing over every little twinge or blowing hard earned money on HPT after HPT way before it could ever detect anything. It’s one of the reasons why I started this blog and why I am reading other people’s blogs. Usually I would throw myself into working on our home but it’s just not responsible to paint knowing that I could potentially be PG (this is a good reminder for me to look into no-VOC paint options). While work keeps me busy, it is stressful and can be incredibly frustrating and I am trying to be more balanced in life and work. So, here is my plan for the next two weeks:

• Visit my best friend who lives a few hours outside of the city – this might backfire on me because she is PG so inevitably it will be the main topic of discussion, but I am thrilled for her and miss her like crazy… so either way it will be a great day.
• Find a new series to read. I finished the Hunger Games and saw the movie a couple of weeks ago. I also read 50 shades of grey which wasn’t in the usual genre of books I would read (they weren’t kidding when they said it was lady porn). I just downloaded the kindle app on my iPhone and am loving it! It’s awesome to not have to lug around a heavy book but still have my latest reading material right at my fingertips all the time. It’s also great for bedtime. My husband falls asleep quickly but sometimes I’m having a hard time putting down my book, so this is great because I don’t have to turn on any lights. Any good book recommendations? The one I have been eyeing is Taking Charge of Your Fertility, but I’d really rather start something non-pregnancy related.
• Get outside! I think (hope?!) spring is finally here to stay. We live in a lovely neighborhood so I am going to try to make an effort to get outside and walk more often.  
• Try some new healthy recipes. When we started focusing on eating healthy I found some great recipes online and was trying new things every week but have run out of steam lately. Time to pick this up where I left off!

I guess the other thing is to try to keep up with this blog! My goal is to post at least every other day. I have been at it for all of 4 entire days now and it is very therapeutic. I apologize for some of the rambling but it is awesome to be able to share my thoughts and concerns on here and get some feedback, even if very few people have even found my blog! Also, I want to say that I read blogs for 3 years without ever commenting... not even once. If you're here, please don't be shy! I would love any feedback you have, good or bad, and to learn from your experiences too!

Just relax

I'm a control freak, a planner, I love excel spreadsheets... and I'm trying really hard to NOT become obsessive over CM, BBT etc. and have not even bought a thermometer yet. Ever since I went off bcp in November, I have been tracking my cycles on the FF app on my phone, but have been pretty relaxed about the whole thing. I felt great about starting TTC in April since I had a totally predictable 29 day cycle immediately from the time I quit taking the pill. Then came March. AF was 8 days late. 8 days! I thought I was right on track but evidently not. DH was convinced I was PG but I wasn't so sure - we were pretty careful and I didn't feel any different. We felt ripped off that we were not going to get the opportunity to actually TTC. But, two HPTs confirmed BFN and then AF finally came. I was disappointed and relieved, but then thought, now what?! We were supposed to start TTC in April and suddenly I had no idea what my body was doing.

Has anyone had a late period with a BFN? I got a trial membership for hot yoga last month (and LOVED it) and am wondering if this might have caused it. I know it's a bad idea to do hot yoga when pregnant but haven't read anyting about it's effects when TTC. Regardless, I have stopped going and am considering going back to non-heated yoga.

Anyway, as a result of the above, my FF app gave me a 9 day window of fertile days in April. 9 days! DH was pretty happy about this, and I certainly can't complain. Yesterday was the last day. We have been BD'ing almost daily and I am getting obsessed. FF just averages out your cycle length to make an estimate of when your fertile time will be so what if my cycle really is longer now and thus O is happening later? I think I am going to wear out my poor hubby in the first month. So, maybe I do need to start tracking BBT. I'm worried it will be confusing and make me even more compulsive about it. I'm trying to enjoy this time. What are your thoughts on this? Did tracking BBT just make you even more high strung or did it give you comfort that you were timing it right and were better able to relax and go with the flow?

Even though I know it's unlikely, I'm  secretly hoping that it will happen for us during our first month of trying. I have no delusions, I have always expected it to take about 6 months, assuming everything is working the way it should... but then my best friend got pregnant on her first try, and both my brother and sister in law swear they conceived on their first try as well. I guess only time will tell!